Rating: R for extreme violence, bloodshed, and language
Run Time: 2 hours, 1 interminable minute
I have a sneaking suspicion that Antoine Fuqua is a flash in the pan, because I’m hard pressed to believe that the same man who directed Denzel Washington to Oscar glory in “Training Day” directed this abysmal, hyper-propagandized testosterone peddler.
Willis is Lieutenant. A.K. Waters, resplendent in cowboy glory and strenuously
waving the red, white, and blue in an effort to capitalize on the nation’s
burgeoning military loyalty. Waters and
his merry band of studly S.E.A.L. commandos have been deployed to
Kendricks may be a magnanimous pro, but her petty tactics cause Waters’ mission – to evacuate the doctor, a priest, and a pair of nuns – to go seriously haywire. Teary-eyed and stubborn over Waters’ refusal to evacuate her seventy-plus patients, Kendricks whines and pouts and somehow engages Waters in a Deep Internal Conflict - the first of his illustrious embittered career. Suddenly, the natives aren’t just faceless packages to be delivered, they’re Human Beings. And Human Beings deserve to live, no matter how great the sacrifice.
bungle in the jungle wreaks havoc far and wide. The group high-steps it to the
Dialogue is a crisp staccato of obnoxious clichés, including such pearls as “Go with God”, and (witty response from Willis) “God already left”. Best of show, when unwittingly stumbling upon a village attack, “I’ve got ringside seats to an ethnic cleansing”. Puhleeez!
Bellucci manages to display ample cleavage while fleeing the evil indigenes, but her acting is achingly one-note. Willis (a personal favorite) does Willis doing “Die Hard”, a role he could re-create in his sleep. “Tears” isn’t going to bring home any year-end awards, but it will definitely make my list, as Worst of the Year.